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Commitment problems

September 5, 2009

You know how some people are just the relationship type? As in, they just don’t do single. For example the ‘it’ couple at my high school were together for two years and then had one of those big dramatic break-ups. A month later they were both in full-on relationships with other people. Why does that happen? Why do some girls always seem to have a boyfriend and others are eternally single?

I actually don’t know the answer to that question. What I so know though is that I am not a relationship girl. In fact I’ve never actually had a real relationship. I’ve done hook-ups and flings but I’ve never actually been committed to another person. I’ve never called someone my boyfriend or announced I was part of a couple. I’m not sure I have it in me.

A few days ago a friend asked me if the reason I don’t have a boyfriend is because I have a commitment problem (and yes this friend is a ‘boyfriend’ girl. As if the only reason you’re single is because you have a ‘commitment problem’). I laughed and told her I was just enjoying being single and hadn’t met the right guy. Later she asked me if I watched Gossip Girl. I confessed that I couldn’t commit to a TV show at the moment, thus I didn’t watch Gossip Girl even though I know I should because I’m pretty sure I’d actually enjoy it and I read the books long before anyone knew who Serena and Blair were. My friend looked at me and said, “You can’t commit to a TV show? Then how do you expect to commit to a guy?”

Well…the truth is…I don’t. Possibly the main reason I’m not in a relationship is because I don’t want to be. I’d rather be independent and make my own choices. I don’t ever want to catch myself saying ‘we’re busy’ or any other ‘we’ sentence. Maybe I do have a commitment problem. In Bridget Jones’ Diary it is suggested that ‘the whole world has a commitment problem’. Well maybe not the whole world, but all of us singletons anyway. We want to be free to go out drinking and dancing with friends on the weekend, or hop on a plane for a quick holiday, or flirt and kiss and hang out with other singletons and not have to worry about anyone else. Being single is about taking care of yourself and no one else. As Samantha points out in the Sex and the City Movie ‘I love you, but I love me more’. Maybe that’s what it all comes down to.

I’m a ‘me’ person not a ‘we’ person. There’s nothing wrong with that as far as I can see. If you know you have a commitment problem, then why is it such a big deal? Some of us aren’t supposed to get married and have kids and live in a house with a white picket fence. As long as I’m okay with it I really don’t care if I have a commitment problem.

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