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Oh, that was a Long Island Iced Tea

August 17, 2009

How you ever got really drunk, not realised you were drunk, did something completely stupid and didn’t realise until way later that you actually were drunk and did something stupid? Or even not ‘really drunk’ but perhaps tipsy? Usually when you do something really stupid when you’re drunk it’s embarrassing the next morning but you just laugh it off with the usual ‘ah well, I was totally smashed, everyone knew that’ excuse. It’s amazing what you can do when drunk and get off completely because, well, you were drunk. But when you act sober the entire night, and claim the next morning that you were stone-cold sober (forgetting the aforementioned drinking disaster behaviour) things change. You can’t later on laugh it off and say it was just because you were drunk. I’m not saying that being drunk is a reasonable excuse for, well, anything but it seems to be a socially acceptable excuse. And when you have no excuse it makes things very very awkward. And I really hate awkward situtations.

Anyway this happened to me semi-recently. I had a heap of pre-drinks and was drunk for about an hour but by the time I finally showed up at the party I felt completely sober. For pretty much the entire night I acted sober. For weeks afterwood, I maintained that I was sober. There was no problems or worries until I was hit with one of those memory wammies that makes you realise the error of your ways. While apparently drunk I made a fool out of myself and acted like a moron in front of the two smartest people I know. I didn’t see them for awhile and didn’t think anything of the situation. Then, weeks later, I had a dream about myself acting like an idiot. Only when I woke up, I realised it wasn’t actually a dream. It was a reality I had apparently repressed. Thinking about (and remembering) several other events from that night, I came to the logical (trust me) conclusion that I’d been drunk at the time. Unfortunately it was now past the time of the laughs and the socially acceptable excuse and I’m left looking like an idiot for no apparent reason.

Basically I am now terrified of bumping into these two extememly intelligent individuals that I greatly respect thanks to my own idiocy. And I do actually see them on a semi-regular basis. What I’m going to do about my situation is as yet unclear. Probably I’ll use the selective memory explanation. ‘What are you talking about? I never said such a thing…(insert genuine laughter)…that’s a pretty amusing theory though. Actually now that I think about it, I might not have even been there that night…’

It’s a real pity that these people aren’t gullible or stupid. It’s unlikey they’ll buy anything I can come up with. Perhaps it would be better to just suck it up and accept the awkwardness? The thing is though I really, really hate awkward conversations.

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